Friday, June 24, 2016

Brits force Borowitz to be a journalist


Or to put it another way, reality has caught up with the satire Andy Borowitz is famous for. Under a headline of "British Lose Right to Claim That Americans Are Dumber" Borowitz declared
Luxuriating in the superiority of their intellect over Americans’ has long been a favorite pastime in Britain, surpassing in popularity such games as cricket, darts, and snooker.

But, according to Alistair Dorrinson, a pub owner in North London, British voters have done irreparable damage to the “most enjoyable sport this nation has ever known: namely, treating Americans like idiots.”

“When our countrymen cast their votes yesterday, they didn’t realize they were destroying the most precious leisure activity this nation has ever known,” he said. “Wankers.”
O how right he was. Not only has the Prime Minister said he would step down because of the vote, but the other major party the Liberals have shown themselves to be a bunch of gormless twits with their lackluster support for staying in the EU. Indeed it was only the Fascist/Racist IKIP party that showed any determination with the result that Boris Johnson (Britain's answer to Trump) is now a rising politcal star.
“Dare to dream that the dawn is breaking on an independent United Kingdom,” Nigel Farage, the leader of the U.K. Independence Party, one of the primary forces behind the push for a referendum on leaving the European Union, told cheering supporters just after 4 a.m.

Withdrawing from the European Union is a lengthy process that Mr. Cameron will largely leave to his successor. It will mean pulling out from the world’s largest trading zone, with 508 million residents, including the 65 million people of Britain, and a commitment to the free movement of labor, capital, goods and services. It has profound implications for Britain’s legal system, which incorporates a large body of regulations that cover everything from product safety to digital privacy, and for Britain’s economy.

One reason the City, London’s financial district, shuddered on Friday is that it is a hub for trading in euro-denominated securities, activity that may now shift to rivals like Frankfurt and Paris.

It was also not clear that the United Kingdom could survive withdrawal from the European Union intact. There was immediate pressure for another referendum on independence from Britain for Scotland, which voted overwhelmingly on Thursday to stay with Europe.

“I think an independence referendum is now highly likely,” said Scotland’s first minister, Nicola Sturgeon, who said it would be “democratically unacceptable” for Scotland to be pushed out of the European Union when a majority of Scots want to stay in.

Keith Vaz, a Labour legislator, said: “This is a crushing decision; this is a terrible day for Britain and a terrible day for Europe. In 1,000 years, I would never have believed that the British people would vote for this.”
And so Britain goes from an economic union capable of dealing with the US and China as an equal to a piddly little country ripe for exploitation and economic colonization. A hearty Well Done to all the numbies who voted to leave.

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