THE BURNED OVER DISTRICT

And according to Justin "Filthy Liberal Scum" Rosario he is a real piece of work, not quality work, mind you.

Tea Party Jesus is the dimwitted illegitimate child of Republican Jesus™ and a roll of tinfoil from Ayn Rand’s kitchen cabinet. He was midwifed by the Koch brothers and Alex Jones. The whole affair was quite sordid and I’ll leave the icky details to your disturbed imagination. Suffice to say, Tea Party Jesus is a deep embarrassment to Republican Jesus™...

When he was first born, Tea Party Jesus swore on Republican Jesus™’ Conservative Bible that he didn’t care about social issues, just economic ones. Issues like being Taxed Enough Already and the tyranny of Obamacare.

But the strange thing about this is that taxes were already at a decades long low. Even more bizarre, the original Tea Party that Tea Party Jesus named himself after wasn’t protesting taxes at all. They were protesting a tax cut for the East India Company, a multinational corporation (or the Colonial equivalent) which was undermining local businesses. Further, the original Tea Party was upset about being taxed without having a say in politics. “Taxation Without Representation!” was the slogan. Last time I looked, Tea Party Jesus had the best representation that billions in corporate money can buy.

It appeared that Tea Party Jesus wasn’t very well educated about American history. Big Daddy Republican Jesus™ didn’t seem to mind, though. Tea Party Jesus was super excited about voting against Obama and that’s all Republican Jesus™ really cared about at the time. And, oh boy, did Tea Party Jesus vote against Obama! Republican Jesus™ was so proud of his little boy.

Yessir! A real piece of work.