Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Mittens has no future in stand up comedy
Current Republican front-runner and alleged human being Wlbert Mittens Romney displayed an awesome lack of talent for stand up comedy today. This despite months and months of speaking before small, intimate crows of voters across this land. After struggling to build up crowd emotion, Mittens dropped this big finish on them and laid an egg.
“One of most humorous I think relates to my father. You may remember my father, George Romney, was president of an automobile company called American Motors … They had a factory in Michigan, and they had a factory in Kenosha, Wisconsin, and another one in Milwaukee, Wisconsin,” said Romney. “And as the president of the company he decided to close the factory in Michigan and move all the production to Wisconsin. Now later he decided to run for governor of Michigan and so you can imagine that having closed the factory and moved all the production to Wisconsin was a very sensitive issue to him, for his campaign.”Rumor has it that no one making under $500K per year laughed. Perhaps he needs some new writers.
Romney said he recalled a parade in which the school band marching with his father’s campaign only knew the Wisconsin fight song, not the Michigan song.
“So every time they would start playing ‘On Wisconsin, on Wisconsin,’ my dad’s political people would jump up and down and try to get them to stop, because they didn’t want people in Michigan to be reminded that my dad had moved production to Wisconsin,” said Romney, laughing.
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