Friday, September 30, 2011
Gingrich announces anti-rhinoceros hostility
Newticles, in a desperate attempt to stop both his campaign and his finances from swirling down the drain, has begun a series of attacks on rhinoceroses. Under the pretense of denying he would impose his god upon all Americans, the Newtron implied these most special creatures were less than Gingrich.
“The idea that taking school prayer out in 1963 made the country better, I don’t see any evidence that children who don’t spend a moment recognizing that they’re subservient to God let’s you approach God in anyway you want to. There is an enormous difference between a culture which believes that it is purely secular and a culture that believes that it is somehow empowered by our creator. And I always tell my friends who don’t believe in this stuff, “Fine, how do you think we came to — we’re randomly gathered protoplasm? We could have been rhinoceroses but we got lucky this week?’”Many of us believe that if there really were a god, Newticles would have been born a rhino when his week came around.
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