Friday, July 22, 2011
Remember when The Onion was satire?
I guess it just got too difficult to stay one step ahead of the loonies, whackdoodles and dribblewits in our society. So now the Onion has changed over to straight news reporting. Witness their first attempt.
Members of the U.S. Congress reported Wednesday they were continuing to carefully debate the issue of whether or not they should allow the country to descend into a roiling economic meltdown of historically dire proportions. "It is a question that, I think, is worthy of serious consideration: Should we take steps to avoid a crippling, decades-long depression that would lead to disastrous consequences on a worldwide scale? Or should we not do that?" asked House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA), adding that arguments could be made for both sides, and that the debate over ensuring America’s financial solvency versus allowing the nation to default on its debt—which would torpedo stock markets, cause mortgage and interests rates to skyrocket, and decimate the value of the U.S. dollar—is “certainly a conversation worth having.” "Obviously, we don't want to rush to consensus on whether it is or isn't a good idea to save the American economy and all our respective livelihoods from certain peril until we've examined this thorny dilemma from every angle. And if we’re still discussing this matter on Aug. 2, well, then, so be it.” At press time, President Obama said he personally believed the country should not be economically ruined.One or two years ago this would have been ROTFL, but now it is current headline fare. We are so fucked.
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On the brighter side, I saw Joe Randazzo and Seth Reiss perform in the Winspear Opera Theater here in Dallas just a while back. They have not yet admitted that The Onion's prophecies have been overtaken by reality.
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