Saturday, October 31, 2009
Oh, this is good!
Just recently we learned that the Conservatives know better than God what should be in the Bible and none of it is that liberal crap spewed by his kid Jesus. Now, through the good offices of Kiss My Big Blue Butt, we learn the Top 5 passages of the New Conservative Bible.
The Top 5 Passages From the Conservative BibleIt's gonna be one hell of a book when they are done.
5. Jesus spoke on the mount and just as he said "Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven," a lone voice in the crowd shouted, "You lie!"
4. It is easier for a camel to pass through the eye of a needle than it is for a liberal-controlled Congress to pass a health-care bill.
3. Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do. Not that I have any objections to capital punishment, you understand...
2. So the Lord God banished the brown people from the gated community of Eden, allowing them to returneth only during the day with landscaping tools.
And the Number 1 Passage From the Conservative Bible...
1. And Moses spake at the burning bush: "That'll teach you to run around with every man in town, you harlot! Now go get a shot of penicillin."
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