THE BURNED OVER DISTRICT

A parable that teaches truth about the party of Boss Limbaugh.

AT the time of creation, the body parts were arguing. The problem could not be solved because each one wanted to be the boss of the whole body.

Said the brain, "I do the thinking. Without me, none of you would know what to do. Do you realize I am at the highest point symbolizing my superiority over all of you? So, logically, I should be the boss of the entire body.''

The eyes declared, "No. I do the seeing. Without me, you would not know where to go. Why, you could not even move. You cannot appreciate your surroundings. In darkness, all of you would be useless. I should be the boss of the whole body!''

Exclaimed the heart, "Where do you think you get the strength? From the blood I pump to each of you. Without me, you would all be dead. I am the center of all your abilities. No question, I should be the boss of the human form!''

The lungs shouted, "What use is the blood if it has not been aerated through my function? I breathe all day to purify the whole body. For this, I should be the boss of all body parts.''

Growled the intestines, "You talk about nourishment. Where do you think the nutrients come from? It is through my digestive prowess. I grind the food and transform them to basic elements for absorption. Then the body has the energy to function. No doubt I should be the boss.''

In succession, the feet, ears, mouth, liver, kidney and every other part spoke. Each claiming the right to be boss.

Finally, even the asshole spoke of being the boss.

All the other parts found it so funny for the asshole to demand the honor of being boss. They all laughed and laughed. The asshole was so humiliated and angered.

Out of sheer spite, the asshole blocked himself and refuse to function. The body began to be poisoned by the non-evacuation of all the body waste. The brain got dulled, the eyes got crossed, the heart skipped beats, the lungs could hardly heave, the intestines were feverish, the feet and arms ached and limped.

All the body parts relented and allowed the asshole to become the boss.

And so it came to pass. From that time on, all the other body parts did all the work. The asshole just bossed around and sat on its behind.

Moral of the story: "You don't have to be a brain to be boss, just an asshole.''

And if you have any doubts, check out the Republiban reactions to Judge Sotomayor at TPM.