Saturday, August 26, 2006
LATEST POLL: JONBENET SUSPECT MORE POPULAR THAN BUSH
By Don Davis
In the latest New York Times/CBS Poll, John Mark Karr, the current “suspect” in the JonBenet Ramsey murder case, has drawn much higher favorability ratings than President Bush.
The vast majority of respondents, polled over the last three days of wall-to-wall JonBenet coverage, stated they didn’t actually believe that Karr was guilty. However, they expressed a strong preference for someone who takes the blame for something they didn’t do, as opposed to Bush, who refuses to accept responsibility for things he did personally screw up.
A majority of respondents also believed that while the sexual abuse and killing of a child is the ultimate criminal act, so is starting an unnecessary war in which scores of thousands die, including children and soldiers who are not even old enough to legally drink.
However, Karr and Bush finished in a dead heat on the question of which individual is more likely to hold firm to his core beliefs, with 98% of respondents stating that Karr is not likely to change his stance as a pedophile, and that Bush is not likely to change his stance as an idiot.
The two men also polled evenly on which was more obsessed and fixated on their respective targets: JonBenet Ramsey in the case of Karr, and Saddam Hussein in the case of Bush.
Also, while most respondents refuse to believe that there was any connection between Karr and Iraq, an overwhelming majority stated that there were conclusive ties between the JonBenet coverage knocking Iraq off the news, and Bush’s microscopic “bounce” in the polls.
Finally, by a margin of two-to-one, those polled were in favor of calling the President by his full name — George Walker Bush — to reflect the media propensity to use three names for assassins and serial killers.
For the record, this post is satire, as difficult as that may be to believe.
In the latest New York Times/CBS Poll, John Mark Karr, the current “suspect” in the JonBenet Ramsey murder case, has drawn much higher favorability ratings than President Bush.
The vast majority of respondents, polled over the last three days of wall-to-wall JonBenet coverage, stated they didn’t actually believe that Karr was guilty. However, they expressed a strong preference for someone who takes the blame for something they didn’t do, as opposed to Bush, who refuses to accept responsibility for things he did personally screw up.
A majority of respondents also believed that while the sexual abuse and killing of a child is the ultimate criminal act, so is starting an unnecessary war in which scores of thousands die, including children and soldiers who are not even old enough to legally drink.
However, Karr and Bush finished in a dead heat on the question of which individual is more likely to hold firm to his core beliefs, with 98% of respondents stating that Karr is not likely to change his stance as a pedophile, and that Bush is not likely to change his stance as an idiot.
The two men also polled evenly on which was more obsessed and fixated on their respective targets: JonBenet Ramsey in the case of Karr, and Saddam Hussein in the case of Bush.
Also, while most respondents refuse to believe that there was any connection between Karr and Iraq, an overwhelming majority stated that there were conclusive ties between the JonBenet coverage knocking Iraq off the news, and Bush’s microscopic “bounce” in the polls.
Finally, by a margin of two-to-one, those polled were in favor of calling the President by his full name — George Walker Bush — to reflect the media propensity to use three names for assassins and serial killers.
For the record, this post is satire, as difficult as that may be to believe.
Subscribe to Posts [Atom]
Post a Comment