Saturday, November 20, 2010
Gail Collins warns us about the zombies
They are taking over our politics and they are bi-partisan too.
But we’ve entered the era of zombie politics: a small cadre of uninfected humans have to band together and do whatever it takes to protect themselves against the irrational undead.We are in serious trouble because no one ever gets rid of zombies for good.
The new incoming Tea Party Republicans are lurking in the halls of the Capitol, hiding behind the statuary and hoping to leap out and behead a Democratic zombie spendthrift. (Dan Quayle’s boy Ben promised to “knock the hell out of Washington” and now he’s there, ready for action.)...
On the other side, the Democrats are waking from an election night coma to find that the country is overrun with zombie Republicans who are demanding to be allowed to shut down the government even before their swearing-in. And when President Obama invited their leadership to break bread and talk about working together, John Boehner and Mitch McConnell said a pre-Thanksgiving sit-down didn’t fit into their schedules.
Wouldn’t want to be there when the meal finally comes off. “Bless us, oh Lord, and these, thy gifts, which ... aaauuurrgghchompchompchomp.”
In private, the Democratic senators complained bitterly about the old Obama let-us-reason-together strategy. Zombies aren’t going to make a deal on the Bush tax cuts or pass the arms treaty! All they care about is plump, tasty Democratic thighs and calves and kidneys.
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